Love in the time of murder and dating tips from Dee with author @denaehaggerty

12:17





In Love in the Time of Murder, the Gray-Haired Knitting Detectives face their toughest case yet. Delilah, or Dee as she wishes everyone would just call her already, is the granddaughter of one of the knitting detectives and her life is in a bit of a shambles. She finally manages to pry herself away from her husband’s clutches, move out on her own, and start her own business. But then her estranged husband is murdered and she’s the number one suspect. The Gray-Haired Knitting Detectives aren’t about to let one of their own get sent to the slammer and jump at the chance to search for the true killer. As if Dee doesn’t have enough problems, the knitting detectives decide that Delilah being a widow is the perfect opportunity to find her a new man and decide to put their matchmaking skills to use. Will Dee end up in prison for a murder she didn’t commit or will she be taking another walk down the aisle?




Exerpt:


The entrance to the strip club is open and in the small area between the open front door and the second door sits a man on a stool. As we approach, he stands and crosses his arms over his chest. Oh, my god! Call the press! We’ve found King Kong and he’s apparently a bouncer at a titty bar in the outskirts of Oklahoma City.

“Hey man,” Jack says to King Kong and attempts to saunter past.

King Kong shakes his head. “Um no, I can’t let you in.” He points to Grandma and her posse. “They are instant boner killers. Not good for business, man.”

Betty huffs. “You’re going to let in two gay men but not us?”

King Kong shrugs. “I don’t care if the gay dudes want to make a stripper sandwich. But the customers are going to run out of here like their asses are on fire the second this AARP bus arrives.”

The ladies huff, but they know a lost cause when they see one. Betty looks ready to take on the gorilla. Thankfully, Grandma and her cronies grab her arms and pull her away from the entrance before she starts a riot. Izzy watches them leave and then turns to the bouncer whose eyes about bug out when he sees her baby bump.

“What are you trying to do to me? First, old ladies and now a pregnant one.” He points at Izzy’s bump. “You! No! These men don’t need to be reminded of the consequences of fooling around on the side.”

Izzy rubs her belly but shrugs and follows the ladies to their car. I turn to the giant-sized man and see his gaze on me. “Am I okay? Can I go in?”

The giant’s eyes sweep from head to toe over me and suddenly I feel like I need a shower. I shiver as he reaches to his crotch and adjusts himself. Gross. Totally gross. “Oh yeah, babe, you’re welcome. Make sure you talk to the bartender about dancing. You’d make a killing.”


Dee's dating tips!:



Oh gosh – you want me to give you tips on finding love? Everyone thinks I’m some kind of expert just because I managed to find a boyfriend while I was accused of murdering my rat of a husband. I’m no expert at finding love, that’s for sure, but I’ll give it a go.

Tip #1 – Make sure the crazy matchmaker in your life knows about your crush and then deny such crush. This is essential. Denying your crush like you’re an innocent teenager will push the matchmaker in your life just that much more to ensure that you have lots and lots of ‘accidental’ meetings with your crush.

Tip #2 – Do not, under any circumstance, let your crush think you like him. This is kind of tough if you get goose bumps every time he touches you so you’ll need to work on your ability to lie and deny obvious physical clues. Sighing is also a dead giveaway.

Tip #3 – Always tell your crush that you just want to be ‘friends’. This will drive him to complete distraction and hey who doesn’t want a man that’s trying to prove he’s worthy of more than being friends? I’m not turning down a romantic dinner prepared by a hot fireman anytime soon.

Tip #4 – Agree to girls’ night out even if your preferred evening out is sitting at home with a good book and bottle of wine. If it turns out that girls’ night out is really an ambush to get you and your love interest into the same place at the same time, then more power to you.

Tip #5 – Don’t accept that request to dance by your crush so that he’s forced to turn alpha on you. Alpha is so hot. Excuse me while I fan myself.

Tip #6 – Do not look a romantic gift horse in the mouth. If the man you’re interested in happens to bribe your grandmother into giving him the key to your house so he can make you a romantic dinner, protest the audacity of the man but then sit your behind down at the dinner table and enjoy. If you’re feeling generous, you may even let him open one of your bottles of wine.



This isn’t really a tip but more of a warning. If your grandmother happens to be a member of a group of elderly busybodies who, when they aren’t out trying to solve murders, are trying to match make everyone over the age of 20, just accept it. You can fight all you want, but you’ll never win. Old ladies are tenacious and unless you’re ready for the fight of your life, you can better just put a smile on your face. Smile and nod, ladies. Smile and nod. 


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1 comment:

  1. I've just installed iStripper, so I can watch the hottest virtual strippers strip-tease on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete

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