Guest post: How to help your hero through a tough time by author Larry W Powell

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On September 11, 2001, a plane hit a building in New York City, then another, then another, and Larry Powell’s life changed forever. A tsunami of personal downfalls followed that affected every part of his life. During the subsequent five years that followed 9-11 his marriage ended in divorce, his business failed due to halts in work from affected clients, he lost his home to foreclosure, all his money, business associates and many people who he thought were close friends.

A once confident, self-assured husband, father and businessman, his life was broken. He was left only with his faith in God, and the words of the authors he’d been encouraged by over the years.

Life’s Little Book of Survival Quotes was written for people who are experiencing similar struggles. Containing words of comfort, support and advice, it’s the constant companion that can lift your spirits and keep you hanging in there during your worst of times and even your best of times.

An abundant variety of the most inspirational quotes of all times is broken into categories to remind you that no matter how you’re feeling at the moment or what you’re going through, it WILL NOT last forever.

Each quote represents what many others like you have experienced and survived. And each chapter ends with valuable tips and survival stories of notable people that you’ll surely recognize.

Do you sometimes feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel?

Have the right words ever gotten you though a very tough day?

Would you like to have the perfect words at your fingertips for just about any occasion or frame of mind?

Do you want an extensive collection of quotes that are categorized into user-friendly sections?

Guest post:

We all have that one person in our lives who is our pillar of strength. You know the one – a friend, a relative, or even a co-worker who is confident, perpetually happy, highly successful, caring, generous, and fun. Most of all, she is your rock in times of need. On the surface, it seems that her life is perfect, and it’s unlikely that others realize that things aren’t always rainbows and butterflies in her world. One of the most challenging times in a relationship comes when you realize that such a strong person in your life – your hero – is going through an emotional storm. This realization can leave you feeling like you’re the one who is lost at sea.

Your hero may not come right out and tell you or show any obvious signs of a crisis. But you might notice a change in her habits – your conversations together have become shorter and feel forced, you hear from her less, or she stops communicating altogether. Other signs that signal tough times are when she starts to participate less and less in day-to-day interactions. For instance, she may begin to avoid social events like lunch meetups, church, or reunions. When you do see her, you may notice that she is paying less attention to her appearance.

It can be hard to stand by and watch the person you admire so much hurting. Facing such a situation, you might wish you had an instruction book on helping your hero through a tough time. You wonder if you are doing too little or too much, what you should ask or say, or if you should say anything at all. You ask yourself, Does she want my advice? She’s always been the one to give advice to me. How on earth could I possibly help her? 

Here are 5 ways to help your hero through a tough time.

1. Accept that you may not be able to fix the problem. Heroes tend to try to navigate rough waters on their own; plus, even though you want to help, your hero may not need it. If she wants some space, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she wants to be left alone.  Do make sure she knows that you genuinely care for her welfare.

2. Let your hero know that you are there for her. It’s always uncomfortable to feel helpless to solve a problem, but don’t struggle to offer unnecessary advice and suggestions. Simply let her know you’re there if she needs you. If she wants to talk, offer a shoulder to lean on. Ask if you can run errands, fix a meal, or help with housework. 

3. Listen intently and don’t judge. When she does open up to you, don’t be tempted to analyze the circumstances and offer advice. Even though your intentions may be pure, your unsolicited advice and opinions could do more harm than good. Just listen. What she really needs is someone to lend a compassionate ear without judgment when the time is right.    

4. Acknowledge her pain. Don’t point out the reasons she should be thankful, and definitely avoid saying, “Things could be much worse,” or “This could be a blessing in disguise.” Be emphatic and acknowledge her feelings, even if you don’t know all the details. Sincere validation is the simplest and best approach.

5. Treat her the same as you always have. Although you might be afraid to say the wrong thing, remember that treating your hero as a fragile being can make her feel less confident. Keep having the same kinds of conversations and interactions as you have in the past, and include her in simple activities; this can effectively relieve tension for both of you. Invite her to join you for a walk, an exercise class, yoga, or meditation. And be sure to find things to laugh about when you spend time together.  

Every person is unique, with a different set of circumstances. When your hero is struggling, you may feel the urge to go the extra mile to please her – don’t.  Simple acts of kindness and demonstrations of your concern will go a lot father than you think. And even if she doesn’t express her appreciation in the moment, be there for her. Sometimes tough times reveal which friends are unconditional and, in the end, such a realization can identify brand new heroes.

About the Author

Larry Powell is a Dallas-based marketing and advertising consultant as well as a life coach, a mentor, philosopher, and an educator. The entrepreneurial, philanthropic and humanitarian components of Larry's nature are the basis for his need to nurture and support people to reach their fullest potential. He feels that without the roller coaster of the ups and downs of his own life, he wouldn't be the survivor he is today. He is the author of Life's Little Book of Survival Quotes, a collection of over 1,000 of the most inspirational and motivational quotes of all time from a wide array of celebrated people from Aristotle to J.K.Rowling and Oprah Winfrey to Zig Ziglar.

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